Real Quick-Like: ‘Insecure’ Season 3 Power Rankings

Per usual, characters move up and down the rankings based on how much Garfield hates them

Insecure’s third season is over. And, it was quick. Fans waited all year for a new installment and before they have time to enjoy the show, credits are rolling for the season finale. Brevity is appreciated, however, the pacing issues from earlier seasons seemed even more egregious in Season 3.

Issa’s growth and maturation are the themes for this season. In previous seasons, Issa poorly navigated a litany of relationships with her male counterparts. Now, Issa’s navigating a relationship with herself.

Which, was to be expected. Issa broke up with a long-term partner and it was a culture shock. The life she knew no longer existed and she’s forced to find her own happiness.

In this context, pacing in the early parts of the season are forgivable. Issa trying and failing to rekindle an old flame with Daniel, getting over Lawrence, only to have Nathan ghost her is actually commendable. All the men provided a window into her maturation process.

Still, the glacial speed of the show is dragging it down. Season 3 has enjoyable moments but something has to give: the show needs more episodes, the episodes need to be longer or they need to pick up the pace.

Those problems affect the emotional payoff. It makes monumental show moments feel ordinary. This might be the creator’s intent but it makes for a mediocre viewing experience.

In any event, this season’s power rankings are a continuation of rankings for Season 1 and Season 2. Screen time for some of the major players felt dramatically lessened this go-round, so I’ll keep it brief for some characters while expounding on others.

Per usual, characters move up and down the rankings based on how much I hate them.

So, let’s get to it.

1. Issa (S2 ranking, 9th)

Issa is number one by default. As in, there’s literally nobody else to put here. Last year, I said, “Issa is just…she’s always doing the opposite of what the fuck she’s supposed to be doing.” This year, she starts doing exactly what she’s supposed to be doing. She didn’t always find success but she took some major strides.

Issa had a lot of good moments. She dumped Daniel which is no small feat. Granted, she took the country mile in terms of the time it took for a permanent emotional separation but she did what she had to do.

She also quit her job. We Got Y’all disrespected Issa when they passed over her for a promotion and I’m sure that sort of relatable content triggered viewers. To her credit, it takes courage to recognize a situation isn’t best suited for you and say “I’m out.” Also, quitting in the middle of a workday is assuredly a fantasy held by anyone who’s ever worked a job.

Fans also saw a “liberated” Issa. She jumped in the pool naked with Nathan. She had Ferris wheel sex at Coachella. She tried her hand at entrepreneurship. As the season wore on, Issa kept moving forward little by little. Maybe not as strong as she could have. Maybe not as steadily as she’d liked. But, forward.

Obviously, she’s still got work to do. Searching a man’s home and trying to break into his laptop on some Mission: Impossible shit stands as the goofiest thing she’s ever done. Even then, her fear that a man would never again make her feel the way Nathan did made her behavior a tad easier to swallow. Not right: just slightly less insane.

The season finale served two of her biggest moments. She told Nathan exactly how she felt about his disappearance. Given Issa’s passive aggressive nature in previous seasons, like the time she avoided Lawrence at the local drug store after they broke up, it’s another example of how far she’s come.

Next, she finally has her own place. Decorated, too. That smile toward the camera at the end is a bit of a fourth wall breaker. It says, “yup. I’m finally here. And things are about to change.”

2. Kelli, (S2 ranking, 1st)

Kelli had fewer highlights this season but she’s still a joy every time she’s on screen. She experienced some less than stellar moments but even those were hilarious.

It might seem inappropriate to laugh at her being tased at Coachella and peeing on herself but…sorry. That seems very much up her alley. One couldn’t imagine something like that happening to anyone else but Kelli.

Her emotional reaction to the baby shower became one of the season’s best scenes. I hate Tiffany so anyone who calls her on her shit automatically gets extra points from me. Although it was sad to see Kelli tell Molly, Molly has Issa and Kelli has nobody on that level.

Again, I look for any reason to hate Tiffany so her mistreatment of my favorite character makes me want someone to throw a drink in her face. Not while she’s pregnant, though.

3. Andrew

Andrew is the power rankings newcomer and made this list for one reason and one reason alone: he made Molly (who I’m going to eviscerate later in this post) look herself directly into the mirror.

“A married man lead you on?” is one of the all-time great zingers in this series and hell, it hurt MY feelings. Andrew seems like a great guy. With this show, however, great guys don’t seem to last long. Andrew, at this point, is Asian Jared.

He’s someone Molly could really benefit from being around. Molly never does anything good for herself, so she’s probably about to fuck this up too. Here’s to more Andrew in the future.

4. Chad (S2 ranking, 2nd)

In the event you might be new here, I’m firmly #TeamChad. Chad is terrible but not in a way that seems to negatively affect anyone other than himself. Everyone needs a “Chad” in their life.

Someone who says things like “I’ll go to church…they got bitches in church” or “hell yeah I wanted her back, you think I want to start over with someone brand new?” And of course, someone to yell out inappropriate things like “Hey Derek, you heard Lawrence got chlamydia?”

Chad is wildly inappropriate. And, he’s probably a terrible person. But, Chad will have your back and he’s good for telling his friends exactly what they need to hear.

5. Nathan

Oh, Nathan. Nathan burst onto the scene by beating up a weed-smoker twice his size in the backseat of Issa’s Lyft. He reappeared by making her drop her taco on her lunch break. There were a number of popular theories about Nathan’s seemingly vagabond lifestyle: he was a drug dealer, a felon, homeless, or had a secret family back in Houston.

Nathan represented the first “fresh” start Issa’s had since Daniel and Lawrence’s entanglement in Season 1. Unfortunately, right when it seemed like maybe he was good for her, he vanished. His disappearing act has been the subject of intense debate.

Some believe his explanation perfectly lines up with symptoms of bipolar disorder or depression. And, that very well might be true. Since he didn’t say it himself, and the show hasn’t given his psychological diagnosis, I won’t address it. What I will say is this.

If Nathan is suffering from a mental illness, it’s his duty to express that BEFORE he goes away for a month. A mental illness is not an excuse to mistreat people.

It’s his job to communicate, not a thing left for someone else to figure out. His reasons may be legitimate, but he’s asking Issa for a lot to disappear for a month sans explanation.

Issa can be empathetic, but she also has the choice of opting out. To her credit, she didn’t totally dismiss him. She said she needed time. There’s a chance Nathan’s character could be a proxy to a conversation on dating someone with mental health issues, although with the show’s pacing issues, they could fumble how it’s addressed.

6. Lawrence (S2 ranking, 8th)

In the two years I’ve done Insecure’s power rankings, there’s a midway point where the list takes a turn toward aggressive negativity. This year, Lawrence is that focal point.

Lawrence is neither good nor terrible. He’s doing well at work. He’s dating again. He’s having reckless sex, forgetting who he has sex with, and acquiring curable STDs. It’s a very average life.

Jay Ellis did a masterful job of hiding his involvement in this season. The #LawrenceHive were happy to have their hero back…but did we even need to see him?

I can’t think of a single thing he’s done worth mentioning. It was good he remembered Issa’s birthday. He almost had him a lil’ church bae (don’t let Freddie Gibbs see this). His pops gave him some good dating advice and reminded him, as old people often do, that “young people don’t want to work for shit” when it comes to relationships.

Otherwise…his character was pointless. Lawrence did no great deed and caused no great harm. It was good to see him, though. His entry makes him the perfect, lynchpin choice for these rankings because the “negativity switch” is officially being turned “on.”

7. Dro (S2 ranking, 4th)

Dro had a spark when he started but now he’s just garbage. Any dreams of seeing how his relationship with Molly would play out got dashed early.

Dro can’t take a hint. Molly told him she intended to get her life together. She laid it out in very clear terms - “Either we’re associates who fuck or we’re friends who don’t.” What Dro heard went in one ear and out the other.

Viewers still wondered if Candace understood whether Dro pillaged Molly’s treasures on the side. However, it does seem like they are, in fact, in an open marriage. At the very least, it means he didn’t lie about the agreement between him and his wife.

Molly wanted clarity on their relationship but Dro forced the issue instead of respecting her wishes. I don’t respect that. Otherwise, Dro was rather benign and it’ll be interesting whether he makes a return next season with a new baby in tow.

8. Daniel (S2 ranking, 6th)

Daniel’s character went wrong in so many ways. He’s understandably frustrated with his life. He’s also doing a poor job of coping with it. This isn’t an indictment to his overall character, but when his negativity turned to Issa that really transformed slight dislike to hatred.

Issa has, more or less, been supportive of his dreams. She’s lied to him on numerous occasions by telling him his SoundCloud music is worth listening to. A woman truly loves a man when she’s willing to listen to his horrible mixtape and still take off her panties for him. What does this fool do?

Completely disregard that support and throws her failings in her face. He told her he didn’t want career advice from her because he was always saving her. Absolute bullshit.

Damn the fact they were lovers. They were friends. That’s not how friends treat each other. Thankfully, it’s the final move Issa needed to leave the little nigga with a little jacket and I, for one, couldn’t be more thrilled.

Daniel also backstabbed Khalil. Someone gives you a shot and you try to upstage him? No wonder his career ain’t going anywhere. Daniel is selfish and can’t see past himself. With that said, his problems are AAU basketball because the NBA of fucked up shit is none other than…

9. Molly (S2 ranking, 7th)

Molly is trash. Pure, unadulterated, New-Jersey-landfill-after-a-summer-BBQ trash. Markelle-Fultz-jumper-after-injury trash. Trash like going to work to eat your leftovers, only to find out someone stole them and now you have nothing to eat, trash.

Holy shit, I fucking hate Molly.

In previous rankings, I’ve always rooted for Molly. I thought the audience misunderstood her. She’s a career woman who wants to play with the big boys. She wants the same reception of men who are cutthroat and try to get ahead in the workplace.

I felt like I understood her. Her hopes. Her wants. Her dreams. And, people who ragged on her couldn’t see her the way she, and I, saw herself.

I was wrong.

People called Molly on her shit before. Dro did it earlier this season. Andrew pointed it out, too. Kelli and Tiffany called her out in Season 1. I was happy Issa pulled her card. Finally, Issa recognized Molly’s negativity and not only how it was harming Molly’s life, but how it impacted her, too.

Molly talks about doing better. It’s all a lie. It’s a lie she tells to cloak herself from feeling anything about the way she ruthlessly disregards people in pursuit of her own goals.

Her status as the token Black person wore away with the transition to her new firm. She pissed that opportunity to do something new almost immediately. She had an annoying, incessant need to constantly, and openly, compare her new firm to the old one. It’s like damn, shorty, don’t you appreciate a good thing when you see it?

Her behavior at her new firm also calls into question the behavior at her old one. Maybe there’s a reason she couldn’t break into that “boys club.” She’s wildly unlikable.

One would think Molly would ingratiate herself at her new firm. Nope. She only wants what she believes she deserves. There’s nothing wrong with her coveting the best for herself, but she treats people in a downright disgusting way.

She left two other Black women at her new firm hanging out to dry in an effort to move up the ranks. She presented to the partners without Torian. Issa said, “you want to be on the partner track, but is it worth it if everybody hates you in the process?”

And, what do you know. Torian left Molly to do that big account all by herself. He’s working with the women Molly originally ditched…to work with Torian. Molly primarily makes bad choices and, for someone who professes to be above those same choices, witnessing her actions is infuriating.

I don’t have any hope for her. I’m officially off the Molly bandwagon. I hope she gets herself together but for now, I’m no longer President of the Molly fan club.

Oh. Molly’s ugly behavior displayed in 4K when she mistreated Jared because she thought he went to the movie with his lover. Jared showing up and explaining that dude was his brother and showing off his new girl to Molly’s speechless face?

Priceless.

10. Tiffany (S2 ranking, 10th)

As much as I hate Molly, Tiffany is still the worst. This is what I wrote about her last year. “She’s annoying. She’s obnoxious. She’s bougie. She’s just generally un-fucking-likable.” Nothing has changed about her character outside of the fact she’s now all of these things…and pregnant.

The show tried to make us feel an ounce of sympathy for her on the Coachella trip. It sucks to feel like your life is changing in a way that makes you lose all of the friends you were so close with. However, Tiffany didn’t even let those friends plan her baby shower.

I know what she said, that they didn’t even offer, but I don’t care. She didn’t let Kelli do it, either. Kelli crying because Tiffany wouldn’t let her plan something is all the credence I hope someone punts Tiffany into a meteor.

Also, I’m still waiting to find out whether the baby she’s carrying belongs to Derek.

Guess we’ll find out in Season 4.

You can find Garfield ranting away on Twitter at @Smooth_Orator or hear his thoughts on his podcast, @NWAPCast.

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