First 48: We’re Definitely Gonna ‘Blame It On Baby’

Third times a charm, right?

Welcome to the ‘First 48.’ What’s the ‘First 48’? It is simply the first 48 thoughts that come to mind when listening to an album for the first time. It’s not to be taken as a full review of a project. To diminish an artist’s body of work, no matter the quality, to a review consisting of just forty-eight thoughts would be unfair to everybody involved with the project. ‘First 48’ is more of a book report outline than an actual book report. Think of the biscuits at Red Lobster, that’s the ‘First 48.’ An appetizer that leaves you wanting more.

Two hundred twenty-six million. That is the number of YouTube views DaBaby has for his breakthrough hit, “Suge.” In that year span, DaBaby managed to turn himself from a relative unknown to a rising star to one of the biggest stars out right now. One would think that after rising to the top of the rap game and pulling a DMX and going back to back with albums in the same year, he would take some time off from releasing new music and go on tour. Nope, not the case for Jonathan Kirk as he’s decided to return with his third album in thirteen months. So without further ado, let’s see if DaBaby needs to sit in timeout and maybe get a diaper change, or if everything is still as fresh as day one.

1. I’m really trying to figure out why we’re getting another album from this man when we just got two within six months of each other. I wonder if the output is related to his contract or if he’s just going to strike while the iron is hot.
2. Thirteen songs that add up to just over half an hour of music. *looks at past releases* Oh, so apparently Baby wants all his albums to be thirteen songs and only over thirty minutes.
3. Fam has on a face mask on the album cover. I don’t know if I should laugh or shake my head at it. However, it is on-brand.
4. So we got appearances from Megan Thee Stallion, Quavo, and Ashanti of all people. This album should be an intriguing listen.
5. What’s the likelihood he switched up his sound or flow on this album? Something tells me it’s slim to none, and slim just left the building.
6. Wait, I just realized that Stunna 4 Vegas isn’t on this album. How are you going to leave your mans off the record? How Sway?
7. “Can’t Stop” definitely is more Baby On Baby and less Kirk. I mean, if you’re going to start an album might as well go with the aggressive approach and just start a riot from the beginning.
8. “Bitch, you know I turn piss into lemonade. Turn shit into sugar, that’s chocolate pudding.” I’ve heard the first two expressions but turning shit into sugar and then making chocolate pudding? What kind of prison ass baking is that?
9. “Bitch, you know ain’t no stopping no nigga like me.” Wash, rinse, repeat. That ladies and gentlemen has been How to Make A Hook 101 taught to you by Professor Kirk.
10. Even for DaBaby, the beat for “Pick Up” is extremely simplistic. Like, my god. Take a bass line and just sprinkle a flute over it every few seconds.
11. Remember when the Migos were the hottest thing in rap? Then they dropped Culture II and their solo albums. Maybe Baby should do a case study on how to not repeat their mistakes.
12. “Pick Up” its definitely in the running for the hardest dirty macking song. How are you going to steal someone girl with a bass line blasting in the background?
13. Let’s just acknowledge that without listening, having a song called “LightSkin Sh*t” when you’re not light skin in the slightest is hilarious.
14. Three tracks in and we finally get to hear the “Jetson made another one” beat tag. I was wondering if Jetson got the same treatment as Stunna.
15. “Tylenol, she too sick, call a doctor.” I’m sorry, what? I’m aware of what he said but I’m puzzled.
16. Future just came through and talked the usual rapper talk but managed to sneak in “I done turned your favorite to a pet.” How is this the most disrespectful line on this album so far?
17. Of course, Wheezy produced “Talk About It” because it sounds like a Lil Baby and Gunna song. Remember kids, when in doubt just wash, rinse, and repeat. It is my favorite beat on this album so far.
18. I know we’ve complained about how Baby never switches up his flow and style, but this sing-songy shit on “Sad Shit” ain’t it chief. AT ALL. He sounds worse than Future did on King’s Dead. Who let this see the light of day?
19. “I’m like Q when he lost Moesha. Got me feelin’ like Monique when she lost the Professor.” That line made me miss the greatness of the early 2000s black sitcoms.
20. Safe to say that this record was an attempt making the “female-friendly record” that every rapper has to have. Unfortunately, it missed it’s intended mark and didn’t stick the landing either.
21. What do you do when your first attempt at “singing” doesn’t work? You double down. Somehow he made it work on “Find My Way” better than “Sad Shit.”
22. I went and found the video for “Find My Way,” and this man took a two-minute song and turned it into a ten-minute damn short film that makes sense.
23. I’d give him credit for at least giving us something different on “Find My Way” and “Sad Shit,” even if he missed the mark on the execution.

24. Yooo, who the fuck told DaBaby that adopting a sing-song style was a good move? Why are we getting this approach on “Rockstar?” That makes three songs in a row.

25. “My daughter a G, she saw me kill a nigga in front of her before the age of two.” That’s right, Baby shot and killed a man in Walmart right as his career was taking off.

26. I’m halfway through with this album, and this is not what I was expecting at all. A lot slower pace but still somehow aggressive as usual. Not as catchy as his prior work, though.

27. “Jump” is placed correctly and brings some much-needed balance back to this album. This is the brilliant ignorance that I want from DaBaby. It also doesn’t hurt that the video is hilarious.

28. “I Kurt Angle that ho, put her leg in the air, ankle lock. Hold that bitch ’til she taps out (Bitch).” I am always here for wrestling bars.

29. I just realized that NBA Youngboy looks like he would be 21 Savage’s stooge if they were both villains in a movie.

30. We’re right back to this sing-song bullshit on “Champion.” Why? Please someone explain this to me.

31. “Champion” is entirely out of place on this album. You close the album with this type of reflective or celebratory song. You don’t put it in the middle of an album if you care about sequencing.

32. At this point, I just have to accept that I’m not going to get the same energy that we got on Baby on Baby or even Kirk. Which is disappointing because DaBaby is at his best when the energy is high like “Taking It Out.”

33. “Drop” is another prime example of wash, rinse, and repeat when it comes to style and subject matter. Not in an enjoyable way either.

34. “Blame It On Baby” is what we want from DaBaby. Except for the Super Nintendo meets a xylophone ass beat. Interscope can’t get this man better production?

35. “I thought he couldn’t switch the flow, how the hell he switchin’ the beat up?” The day that he changes his flow up to a noticeable point, we all might lose it. The beat changes in the song are a nice touch.

36. Wasting no time in living up to the song title on “Nasty.” “She know I’m nasty. She like when I pull it out, and I put it all over her ass cheeks.” Right out the gate with the nastiness.

37. “I take both her legs, and I put ’em behind her head like she a pretzel. Then I pick her up and slam her down on her head like I’m a wrestler.” DaBaby really might be a little too into wrestling. Sex with him might have shorty looking like Martin after fighting Hitman Hearns.

38. Only Megan Thee Stallion could match DaBaby’s raunchy ass on this song. Here’s some proof: “He deep in them covers, this pussy like butter, he put it in, damn near nutted.” Then there’s this gem: “Look down at him while he smackin’, get them headshots like an actress.”

39. “Pick me up and put these thighs around yo’ neck (Thighs around yo’ neck). He mesmerized, tattoed his mind, he won’t forget.” Talk yo shit, Ashanti. Talk yo shit.

40. “DaBaby trying to have a threesome with Ashanti and Megan.” So is every other man in America. Do you blame them?

41. How the hell is “Amazing Grace” the hardest song on this album? I promise you I thought this was going to be more along the lines of “Champion.” Nope. I was wrong.

42. “A nigga barely read the scripture, but I’m spiritual.” He is me. I am him.

43. “Nigga, we was broke (How broke you was?), shit, we had to steal our food.” That is a whole different level of broke. I never want to see days like that.

44. “You can play for the internet, you know what’s up.” Never forget that DaBaby will throw hands with you.

45. “Damn, he done got full of himself. Stick out his hand, and it ain’t gon’ get shook.” That reminds me of Kwahi Leonard ignoring the shit out of his teammate before a game.

46. Why couldn’t we get more records like “Amazing Grace” or at least less singing? Again, is that too much to ask?

47. Ashanti. Megan Thee Stallion. Threesome. That’s all.

48. If it seemed like I starting repeating myself with my commentary, just know that I repeated myself less than DaBaby repeated the mistakes he made.

It’s safe to admit that when you release your third album within thirteen-months, you’re going to run out of gas. Even DMX took some time off after his run. Blame It On Baby shows that DaBaby is approaching the point where less may just be more.

Luckily for Baby, he ended the album on a strong note that reminds his fans that while he may be trying to pull some new tricks out of his bag, he hasn’t forgotten what got him to this point. DaBaby should build on what got him here while testing out new things. If he wants to sing like YK Osiris and neglect what makes him who he is then those fifteen minutes of fame might be over.

Jacob DeLawrence is a wizard with words. Follow him on Twitter, @_jdela and be sure to check out more entries in his ‘First 48’ series.